Okay, so it's my fault.  I still haven't read the book When I Say No, I Feel Guilty enough times to keep my off-line friends from pressuring me into things.  I fall into that age old trap of feeling like I have to have reasons for saying no to things and the next thing I know, I've wussily agreed to something I don't want to do.  Ugh.

Of course, the problem is compounded by the fact that I struggle to be social anyway, making my reaction to social invitations a bit odd at the best of times.  At least I assume most people either want to be social or don't want to - they don't waffle between the two the way I often do.  Oh, yes, let's do lunch.  *five minutes later* Oh crap, why did I agree to go to lunch.  Well, I've got to go now. -_-  *by the time I get there* Yay, I'm so glad I agreed to go out to lunch. ^_^  Mental, I'm completely mental.

So, given that half the time when I think I don't want to be social, I actually do, I have trouble saying no when I really don't want to be social.  *sigh* I think I do a better job of being sane, honest, and social on-line than I do off-line, probably because I feel more in control of the situation. I have a bad tendancy to panic in social situations I don't feel in control of, especially if people make mistakes or misunderstand me.  There was a time in my life when that would freak me out so badly, I would just go along with the misunderstanding rather than correct it - and then avoid that person or place so my lies wouldn't be exposed.  I don't do that any more, and years of working retail have made me a lot more comfortable around people, but I'm still wishy-washy about being social.

I'm not sure whether I need a social comfort pill or a backbone pill worse. -_-